A New Chapter In My Life... - THE DAILY CRUCIBLE



Friday, April 23, 2021

A New Chapter In My Life...


By Gimba Kakanda

The first time I met my would-be father-in-law, he emphasized that he was not a man of fanfare, and that he invited me over to his to establish the fact of the daughter’s claim that she had found a man she intended to marry. We spoke for length, and mostly about books, philosophy and history. He was soft-spoken, gentle and cerebral. Some of the books he discussed, I had not read. He spoke less about his daughter that day, and I feared that I was merely there to be studied. I was nervous. 

The only time he mentioned his daughter was to know my plan. I told him that we had only been dating for a few months, and that she deserved to know me better despite her sentiments. It might be the most frequently used excuse of chronic bachelors, but mine was sincere. This was the first I met the father of my love interest, so it was a big deal. 

Last Saturday, after months of the promised familiarization, I spoke to the younger brother of my would-be father-in-law and arranged for my family to visit him. I wasn’t even meant to to go with them, but changed my decision at the last minute. It was meant to be a meeting of our guardians. The older brother had said that his younger one spoke for the family. I was there with my uncle Mohammed Tauheed, who’s also my father and the representative of my family, along with his friends and my friend Abdullberqy U Ebbo.

We met the uncle and other members of the family. We were here to initiate a conversation around my wedding. I’m the last of my father’s children still unmarried, so you must imagine the pressure and the never-ending whens I must’ve endured in this bumpy cruise through bachelorhood. What happened next was entirely unexpected. 

“Left for us,” our host said, “All the conditions set aside for marriage in Islam have been met in this room. We don’t know your plan, but we don’t mind having this union formalized right now.” My heart skipped. My uncle’s friends were the first to acknowledge the wisdom of such proposal, and without any hesitation we bought the idea. 

I got married on Saturday, April 17, 2021. My wife is the most patient person I’ve ever come across, and incredibly perceptive. I intend to remind myself to never test the limit of this patience in the years ahead. But you may get to know Zainab from her ever-infectious toothy smile and kind heart. To describe her as beautiful is underselling, but I may find the most accurate word some day. I’m just lucky to have found this wonderful woman. 

I apologize that most of you may only get to learn about this marriage through this channel, but I beg for your understanding. I’ve been overwhelmed by the suddenness of this new chapter in my life. I also only got to know that I would be married just a few minutes to the union. I seek your understanding and prayers. JazakAllahu Khayran.

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