Turning 40 Threw Me Into Panic - Olufunmilayo - THE DAILY CRUCIBLE

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Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Turning 40 Threw Me Into Panic - Olufunmilayo


                                     •Funmilayo

There was a lot of panic about turning 40 for me. Since about five months ago.

What have I done? What have I achieved? What have I contributed? What do I have? And so on. These questions plagued my every sleeping and waking moments. My name is not on any great achievers list. Inwardly, I was sad. I was depressed about this. Anytime someone around my age, women especially blazed any trail, I cheered and became sadder. Sure, I was happy for them but that nagging voice asked me: well, what do you have to show? So, I debated having any party at all. Kini iwuri elewon?

Then a few things happened. I suddenly found myself fighting for life a few weeks after giving birth to my son. I called for prayers from friends and family on a particular platform too. A lot of people responded. Though, some didn't know what I was going through, they responded still. And those whom I have relationships with outside of the forum reached out. They were worried. We prayed together. They gave me strength and encouragement. And when that episode was over, I realized the value of life. Of every breathe. Life should be celebrated. 

I realized I was being too harsh on myself. That while I may not be on any grand stage, I mattered. My life matters. That I was focusing on what I didn't have while forgetting the things I have. I had a talk with sis Kyke Davies, God bless her and she echoed again these thoughts to me. Life is to be celebrated. And  celebrate, we shall. So I handed over everything to her. I charged having the celebration I wanted to her. I mean who else knows the death that killed owambe? Yeah... this is where she abuses me but y'all get the idea. Listen! If you have sis Kyke in your corner, na army of people you get. Within days, we had a location, an event decorator, cakes booked, clothes ready, photoshoot booked, make up artist ready, list of invites ready and the request being made to send to them ati bebelo. The wonders of how she made those outfits ready, including the one she had to intricately hand sew the details is story for another day. But let me say, if you are not being styled by StyleSavvy, I don't know what you are doing.

Anyway, Corona happened and we had to postpone the plans but here we are. You all still gave me the most beautiful of days. I couldn't even handle the volume of calls. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love from all of you. If I still had any doubt that I mattered, you all erased that. You let me know that I have made a difference in my little corner of the world and that means everything. I read aunty Bamidele Ademola-Olateju 's tribute and I lost it for a moment. Those words were meant for me? Those things were said about me? I must be doing something right and those right things, I intend to focus a lot more on God willing. 

So here's a thank you to you all. I will not single out names so as not to offend anyone but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart especially those I have formed sisterhood with that goes beyond this forum.

God bless you all. God honor and keep you - Olufunmilayo Odunaike, turns 40 days ago and used her socia media page to express gratitude to those who stood by her in moments of doubts.

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