Kidnapping Your Kidnappers, By Olusola Olumide - THE DAILY CRUCIBLE



Friday, January 31, 2020

Kidnapping Your Kidnappers, By Olusola Olumide

 Kidnapping is to carry off (a person) by illegal force or deception, especially to obtain a ransom. Kidnapper is the person who engages in this act. 
Kidnappers come upon their victims Unawares, when they least expected. Such sudden attack, leaves the victim almost powerless, paralyzed and helpless. 
The victim is often taken to unknown destinations,  has no freedom, put under terrible conditions, which leaves unimaginable torture both physically and psychologically on the person. 
Such state of slavery also exist in the mind.
The ransom is the price one pays for being kidnapped. 
However, where right security machinery is in place, the kidnappers can be trailed, trapped and arrested without you paying the random. 
So, the kidnappers can be nabbed.
The thrust of this piece is about emotional kidnappers (malaise) which sweeps in to trap the mind and immobilize its victims.
I once attended to a client who wasted a CGPA of 4.89 because of misunderstanding. Another, due to perceived injustice of his parents, succumb to anger and thereafter shattered the family SUV and almost set the house on fire. 
What do you think happened to the person who's depressed, addicted to vices, has behavioural disorder, etc. People in that condition have been kidnapped emotionally. When a lady falls in love and it appears as if her senses are no longer working,  you know why? Falling in love has the same euphoric effect like someone who took cocaine.
When a man continually batters his wife and will still take her to hospital and keeps spending.  And a lady tells you, I like a guy who beats me.  Now you know that they are both in slavery because they have been kidnapped. Medical science is great with giants stride in combating health issues, however, there are health issues that medicine cannot resolve and they are nonetheless deadly, decimating the lives its victims. 
They are psychological issues like low self esteem, anger,  imposter syndrome, fear, aggression etc. Behind every behavioural disorder is an unresolved issue. When you lack right knowledge about emotional mechanism, you're mostly going to be at the mercy of your emotional kidnappers. 
Don't lose the control of your life negative emtions.
This emotional illiteracy is the deficit in emotional competencies and the inability to define and label your emotions appropriately, which often leaves you delinquent and uncontrollable. 
If you spend 20% of what you spent training your head on your emotions, you will be a better individual. While you pay a one off ransom for your physical kidnapping, emotional kidnapping may cost you constant, continuous ransom paying till you die, except you do something drastic about your disorder. 
For every behavioural disorder, you and your victim become victims.

I strongly believe that our knowledge creates a reflection on the degree of our actions and responses in life. When we know better, we are sure to do better. 
Get emotional training, so that your emotions do not leave you helpless.
Therefore, emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions, so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge and reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth - Mayer and Salovey. 
If your emotion is illiterate, your thoughts will be ignorant and your behaviour awkward. Emotional awareness is one of the probable indicators of a person's success in life and is also primarily useful to predict attitude, mental stress, perseverance, longevity, learning, and response to changes in the environment.
Life is a comedy for those who THINK, and a tragedy for those who feel - Horace Walpole.

          Olusola Olumide 
 Behavioural Control Specialist and              Emotional Intelligence Therapist

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